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Never seen Alonso as a comedian before BUT he is actually a pretty funny guy.
He said "If I had to choose between Hamilton and Vettel, I would choose Raikkonen!"
Absolutely classic comment!
For the Hamfanjitas please read Lewis and Jenson's McLaren career summaries for the past 2.5 years. You will see that their are very similar, except that Jenson beat him last year.
It's OK, you can use your fingers and move your lips while you are reading.