MOTOGP » Hayden: New engine no breakthrough.

The words ''ship'', ''sea'', ''no-compass'' spring to mind...

MOTOGP » Sepang II MotoGP test times - Wednesday.

Purely out of interest, why would the transition from 250 to 800 be easier than from a 1000 superbike. A 250 is a 2cyl 2-stroke with few electronic gizmos, thats built for a midget and weighs about as much as Keira Knightly in silk lingerie. While in contrast both 800s and 1000s are both 4-cyl, 4-stroke, a much closer power output and power delivery, both have the electronic gizmos, with the 1000 having the greater weight and dimensions. Having ridden various 2-stroke and 4-stroke road bikes I know that a GSXR750 is much closer to a 1000GSXR than an RGV250. Any thoughts...

MOTOGP » Rossi: My dream is to stay.

And you saw the whole of the moon

MOTOGP » Rossi: My dream is to stay.

Hence the phrase "double Dutch". Did you also know that the term "Dutch courage" originates from the fact that the Dutch army were such an unreliable shower that they had to be plied with cheap gin to get them to fight! Absolute bounders!

MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

Parker, I like the cut of your gib! I would therefore like to offer you the position of 'master of the estate privvies' with immediate affect. Name your terms my good man!

MOTOGP » Rossi: My dream is to stay.

That Stobart fellow is a member of the bridge club - how big is your driveway?

MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

Thank you messr Parker. I did have the misfortune of employing your uncle. But found him totally unsuitable when I found him in a most uncompromising position with the drainage hose of the tumble dryer. Now anyone for tiffing!

MOTOGP » Rossi: My dream is to stay.

Roger, I find your comments both crass and unsavoury. I would therefore like to offer you the position of my assistant speach writer, with immediate affect. Name your terms!

MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

Hello MM, sincerest apologies for not responding sooner. Damn the ipertinance of these oiks, occasionally the lower classes forget their place. I have arranged for my man servent to give them a bloody good thrashing. I have just returned from skiing in Cloisters, nothing like cutting a dash through virgin snow. One also was invited to some rather swish parties at the local ladies finishing school. Now this sleeping business, the channel is 200 miles away, but one could arrange for the groundsmen to excavate a ditch in the lower fields, or you could fill the bath with salty water. Well I'm orf now to see how the chaps are getting on with the testing. Tally O, look forward to having you

MOTOGP » Agostini returns to Mallory.

Good to see the great man himself and looking in great shape too. Still the coolesst and most stylish man ever to have raced a motorcycle. Was John Cooper the same John Cooper who tuned the minis?