MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

MM - I will be hosting a pre-race coktail party to which you are cordially invited. My estate is between the villages of Horncok and Great Shagwell. As it's an evening race you will need to bring your jim-jams. Alternatively I can provide something a little more appropriate...cough! cough! splutter! I do enjoy a good fox hunt but only the two legged variety, the foxier the better Anyway must dash, there's a frisky filly in the stables requiring a good galloping - Chin! Chin! ps - I can spell, but the moderators won't allow certain words.

MOTOGP » Ducati 'fears Honda most'.

Whatever happened to that nice Jenson Button chap - wasn't he a Honda thingy?

MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

In fact heres my top tip for enjoying the race at home. First, instruct your butler to chill a few bottles of champers before the race starts. (Note - fizzy wine will not suffice). Now watch the race. Upon completion of the race gather all servants around a large table, now stand on the table and spray the servants with the chilled champers while they cheer enthusiastically at your remarkable acheivement. Should any servents prove less than enthusiastic in their appreciation, then have the hounds chase them round the grounds for an hour or so while you consume the remainder of the champers. Enjoy...

MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

Just enjoy the sport for what is, a form of entertainment. Don't try to acquire an in depth technical knowledge, it doesn't add to the experience and it won't make you more attractive to men. On the contrary, being able to compare and contrast a V4 engine and an in-line 4 will make you a bore, of which the site has an ample population already. A simple knowledge of being able to name about 4 riders, 2 teams, a rough idea of what colours they wear and which direction they should go around the track should suffice for an enjoyable experience.

MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

MM - If ever you need any stats/background info on riders such as how many races won, heights, weight, length of manhood then try this site, www.motogp.com/en/motogp/index.htm

MOTOGP » Stoner 'stronger', Melandri 'number two'.

Very contentious comments about VR supporters there MM, some have had a sense of humour bypass so prepare to be flamed. As for Vermuelen, he's in his 2nd year, not come out of the blocks like Pedrosa and Stoner but he's improving all the time, 1 1st, 2 2nds, 1 3rd last season and finished 6th in championship, only 10pts away from 4th. So not doing too bad. If he can improve his qualifying and the Hondas/Ducatis don't have too much grunt then he could suprise a few people. He's also one of the nicest chaps in motogp, time for his fans etc. an all round good egg. He would be made most welcome on my estate...

MOTOGP » Toseland's new leathers.

I enjoyed Halle Berry in her catwoman leathers - yum! yum! Simply purrrrfect!!!

MOTOGP » Raikkonen compliments Stoner.

Good man.

MOTOGP » Vermeulen delighted with new number.

A wonderful gesture from Vermeulen to pay tribute to his mentor and the greatest British motorcycle racer of the modern era. I also agree that if he can sort his qualifying issues out and get up to speed a tad quicker in the race then he could suprise a few people and perhaps be a title contender. Could be worth a cheeky punt as an outsider, depends on what Suzuki come up with.

MOTOGP » Toseland's new leathers.

Ladies, a feisty filly will always be made welcome on my estate...