How “wingman” Valtteri Bottas overcame F1 quit decision amid Lewis Hamilton domination

Valtteri Bottas has revealed that he made the decision to quit Formula 1 in 2018 after failing to win a race as team-mate Lewis Hamilton dominated the championship.

Although Mercedes has always maintained it does not have number one or two drivers, and gives both pilots the maximum opportunity to win races, Bottas has written in The Players Tribune that he knew his role. “He was the champion. I was ‘the wingman’.”

After winning won three races in his first year with the team following Nico Rosberg’s shock retirement after winning the 2016 title, but the Finn failed to add to his tally in 2018, leading to ‘depression’ and ‘self-loathing’, feelings he had suffered with in the earlier stages of his career.

These were amplified by the knowledge that he could have won races in 2018, but had been told, “Valtteri, let Lewis through”.

Conceding to having “complicated feelings” over the period but having “no bad blood” with team principal Toto Wolff or Mercedes, Bottas wrote: “The whole situation almost made me walk away from the sport.

“The old me came back. The negative Valtteri. The obsessive Valtteri. I was reading too many comments on social media, and I started to become very self-loathing. (Finns have a special talent for this.) Thankfully, I had the tools from my experience in 2014 to understand what was happening, and I had plenty of support.

“But I have to be honest ... I was definitely depressed and burnt out. I hated racing. During that winter break before the 2019 season, I did not think that I was going to come back.

“That winter break, I made the decision that I was going to retire.”

Bottas, of course, would elect to continue to race in F1 and is preparing for this weekend’s Miami Grand Prix with Cadillac, having continued with Mercedes until the end of 2021, before joining Sauber – then running as Alfa Romeo – for three years.

Bottas’ tagline on social media in recent years has been “#WhatNext”, and this mentality was behind the reversal of his decision to walk away from the paddock.

“I went for a walk one day in the forest. Back home in Finland, we have these massive, deep forests. You go in, and you’re in another world. It was the middle of winter, and I walked in the deep snow for maybe three hours. I don’t know. For once in my life, I lost track of time. I was in my memories…..

“I just thought about all this stuff that I had put out of my mind for years. The sacrifices of my family, the fun times, the bad times…. Just everything.

“I don’t know why, but I had this epiphany. I realised that I was constantly looking in the rearview mirror, thinking about 'What if?'

“I decided to only think about 'What’s next?' 

"I told myself, 'If you’re coming back, you’re coming back as the best driver on the grid.'

“I walked out of those woods with a completely different mindset.”